Internal Family Systems- The Many Voices Within
“I am large, I contain Multitudes” Walt Whitman
Are you aware that you have different “parts” or aspects that live inside of you? The part of you that wants to go to the gym and eat well and then the part of you that wants to zone out in front of Netflix with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s to keep you company? Familiar? Well it’s true for all of us. And no this doesn’t make us mentally ill or schizophrenic- we are all made up of many different aspects or parts and the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model provides a wonderful understanding and map of our inner complexity.
Richard Schwartz, the creator of the IFS model was originally working as a Family Systems therapist and recognised that many elements of this approach were equally applicable within our internal worlds as well as the more external family ones. In the external family, individual members interact and influence other family members – an overbearing Father is likely to bring out the rebellious or submissive daughter, so this same dynamic is also apparent within our internal worlds – a domineering inner part is likely to be met with internal resistance.
The real gift that Schwartz brought within the IFS model is the realisation that our individual parts can be seen to fall within four basic categories. Managers, Firefighters, Exiles and True Self – each of which performs an important function and none of which are pathologized.
Our Managers are the parts of us that tell us how to be in the world. Be hard-working, competent, strong etc, they are very driven by social norms and expectations and tend to be aspects of ourselves that we are most likely to relate to as being “us”. They are the parts of us that we feel most comfortable showing to the outside world and can also be seen as our “persona”.
According to Schwartz the function of the managers parts is to keep our awareness far away from other aspects of ourselves in particular our exiled parts. The Exiles are those aspects of ourselves that hold our past pain, grief and memories that were overwhelming. As the name implies our exiles are “banished” from our everyday consciousness and are often largely unrecognised by us. If our exiles are triggered by external events – e.g. someone letting us down, being late, showing anger then this may remind of previous times in the past when we were abandoned, neglected or suffered abuse and our exile part re-surfaces. The energy that the exile holds within us is uncomfortable and difficult for us to be with and this is where the fire-fighter parts come into action.
Our Firefighters parts are there to “hose down” the activation brought about by our exiles. Firefighters come in many guises, ranging from the socially acceptable “I’ll just have a drink, some chocolate, zone out in front of Netflix” to the more unacceptable “I’m going to get completely wasted, take drugs, cut myself and have a huge fight” All of these activities are designed to divert our attention from the pain of the uncomfortable feeling that the exile presents – the overwhelming helplessness, hopelessness and despair.
The final aspect of ourselves that Schwartz describes is not a part but rather our “True Self” or “Real Self.” This is our true essence and is always present with us even if at times it feels difficult to access. Our True Self can be known through the appearance of the following eight “C” qualities that Schwartz cites: Curiosity, Compassion, Creativity, Calmness, Clarity, Courage, Connectedness, Confidence. Once we feel some of these qualities within us then we can be sure that we are connecting to Self Energy.
So how does IFS work and why is it different to other therapeutic models?
One of the most important differences between IFS and other forms of therapy is the fact that IFS is non-pathologizing. All parts within an individuals’ system are seen as trying to help or protect the individual and this means that nothing within an individual, even extreme firefighter behaviour, is seen as inherently dysfunctional. All parts are doing their best to bring ease and comfort to an individuals’ system. By holding a non-pathologizing framework IFS is a shame and stigma free therapeutic model – it is not about needing to fix but to understand and get curious with the creative expression of each of our systems.
The Client, not the therapist is the one that is most in touch with their own system. The therapist holds a position of curiosity and witnessing with the client’s system, asking questions but without knowing beforehand what is needed, in other words without having their own agenda. Rather IFS requires the therapist to be in their own Self Energy – and connected to their own eight C’s of curiosity, compassion, creativity etc and to be honest when they feel their own parts become activated.
IFS also holds the position that everyone holds Self-energy inside of them – even if this awareness is not easily available to the individual, it is present. Self-energy can be seen as analogous to the sunshine that may be hidden behind clouds or not present at night-time and yet the Sun will rise in the morning as it will come out from behind the clouds. In this way IFS does not see anyone as “damaged” or “dysfunctional” and does not welcome the diagnosing of individuals – for this diagnosing may well fit one aspect or part of an individual and yet does not recognise the others parts. As Walt Whitman so beautifully describes it “I am large, I contain Multitudes”. This is the reality that IFS holds and this complexity is what most people recognise as being the truth with themselves.
