Self-Compassion Coaching

Self-Compassion is an essential component of being able to live a meaningful and fulfilled life. Self-compassion recognises that being alive in the world today carries many demands for how and who we would like to be – and very often we fall short of these expectations. It is in these times when we mess up when we do or say things that we may regret that self-compassion is essential.

Self-compassion carries within its heart an awareness that we are all fallible human beings and we will make mistakes. In these times we have two choices – to beat ourselves up and fall into a cycle of judgement and blame where we lash out at ourselves and become the harsh judge of our own very human limitations or to meet ourselves with kindness and compassion. I know which one if most appealing to me.

Often when people first hear about this choice between judgement or kindness, an automatic reaction is to say “But surely if I don’t judge myself and just act with kindness I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes over and over again? Don’t I need to be harsh in order to make sure I don’t make the same mistake again?” And the answer to this question is to ask – “How well are you functioning under the gaze of judgement?” Sure, you might push yourself to act in certain ways and to fulfil some requirements but how does it feel inside? Isn’t there often a constant underlying anxiety? A waiting for the next shoe to drop? Instead of the self-judgment, self-compassion offers an appealing alternative- to fully accept our humanity which includes the fact that we can and do often fall short of our expectations and to be able to acknowledge this, forgive ourselves and then move on.